Tuesday 8 October 2013

My first kiss {postcard #1}

Here is what I am doing

Ok, so here goes my first postcard and why not start with number 7 on the list....the story of my first kiss. 

It was the November of 1985, the beginning of another hot Summer in Durban, South Africa, I was 15 and a half and was in Standard 8 at school. My mum and dad sent my sister and I to a private catholic school called The Holy Family Convent and you may have guessed it, it was an all girls school and went from infants aged 5 to matriculation age 17/18 depending on what half of the year you were born in. Not a boy to be had in sight. I wonder now if my parents purposefully considered this when they sent us there despite saying it was for catholic pastoral reasons, they knew they were safe with my clever, studious sister who was 2 years ahead of me at school, but with me there was a streak of rebellion, mischievenous if you will. I thought all work and no play made me a very dull girl. When I say play, I mean anything else but homework and reading, not playing with boys as such!

The fact is that I never really had the opportunity to meet boys other than at house parties that the cool girls would have in their garages magically transformed into disco's over night with glitter balls and a DJ. If my mum was able to convince my Dad that I could go  (he was the stricter one) I enjoyed spending time messing about, dancing and checking out the boys with the other wall flowers and cringed or almost peed in my pants with embarrassment when the end of the night slow dances would come where most girls were partnered off with a boy who fancied them in a slow dance embrace (yeah, George Michael and Careless Whisper you have a lot to answer for!). It was always excruciating and I always vowed never to go to another, but usually forgot about these feelings the next time a party came round.

Anyway, I digress. So, you may have gathered by now that boys were not something my fairly strict but always fair parents approved of. Looking back now it was almost as if they were in denial about teenage hormones and feelings and experimenting in affairs of the heart. However, come the Summer of 1985 I found myself in a pickle as one of my mum's work colleagues son's had spotted me at a family work gathering I think, or when we both seemed to have gone to our mum's work place after school one day, I can't exactly remember. His name was Francoise pronounced FRUN-SW-AAS, say it quickly and you'll get it :o). I think his mum was of an English background and his dad Afrikaans. he was the middle of three boys and I felt like I knew him already as my mum was good friends with his.

He decided to ask me to his official school dance, black tie and all that. His friend needed one of my friends as a partner too and so i roped in Lisa to help out, she was rather keen on his friend called Shane and her parents didn't seem to protest. Mine didn't either for that matter because I think they almost thought that it was like me going to the dance with a brother, so nothing could happen or could it?

I loved getting dressed in a black silky shoulder padded 80's dress borrowed from one of my sisters friends and despite my hideous braces(or railway tracks as we called them then), my shimmery "ice-pink" lipstick and eye shadow looked good in an 80's kind of way! He wore black tie and had a new romantic type massive fringe like the lead singer from Human League (he he it's cracking me up just thinking about it now)which always got in his face and had to be permanently flicked back. I was so nervous and weirdly excited, it didn't really matter then.

I can't remember the full dance experience, we had our photos taken in a booth (I never got one, but have snaps my mum took before I left to go), had something to eat (I was on the verge of becoming a vegetarian) and danced the night away without alcohol which some of the older teenagers had obviously sneaked in.

Lisa and Shane hit it off a little too well and ended up snogging for most of the night. It fascinated me, how did they do it? God only knew that I had practiced kissing my mirror a good few times before and this also lead to my first experience of "not knowing where to look when you best friend is snogging right in front of you and feeling highly anxious that you might be next" feeling. And boy was I right to have those feelings.

Next minute I am in Francoise's arms doing a slow dance and then he went in for the kill, me with my braces and no doubt elastics between top and bottom jaw teeth. I was so shocked, naively I don't think it entered my head that he might want to kiss me. Maybe it was because I didn't really fancy him despite his reasonable good looks and Human League fringe and so wasn't really looking for a kiss. I pretended to know what to do, whilst not particularly enjoying the rather wet (cringe...sorry but its true)experience. I think it happened again a few minutes later, it didn't get any better and I think he must of known this too.

We were picked up at midnight, the boys dropped off at their homes and Lisa stayed over at my house and we stayed up chatting through into the wee hours of the morning. She was totally besotted with Shane and me, in the quietness of my mind was pleased I had had a first kiss experience and was even more pleased when Francoise didn't pursue any form of a relationship.

Writing this I'm wondering if he knew that he was my first kiss and secondly, I wonder if my parents ever found out? I must chat to them about this next time we speak.

So, how about you, do you remember your first kiss? Do tell x


  1. Oh, I remember, but my lips are sealed.... (no pun intended - though I believe they were then, too)

    I was hoping for one of those snaps at the end of your post ... though I can picture you perfectly well without it. Who that lived through it can forget 80s glam?

    Thanks for the exciting post, which was read with breathless attention from first to last.

    P.S. Mr. M also attended Catholic school (boys only of course), and according to him the Catholic girls had quite a reputation.... :D

    1. I don't know why, but yes I do remember catholic girls schools having a bit of a reputation. Some of the girls I went to school with were pretty wild!

  2. Oh Penny, I am not brave enough to share! Loved reading your very thoughtful and caring description of this event, you told the story so well. xx

  3. I do remember mine...I was only 13. Way to young to be kissing a boy! Which is what I will tell my daughter when she asks... :)

  4. Hello Penny,This post made such an interesting read and you have described it all so well!
    My first kiss was a stolen one and I hit the boy on the head with my tennis racquet and told him to clear off!!! I shudder even today as I think about it as it was a very unpleasant experience and it put me off kissing anyone for quite sometime. I was 14 at the time and I was looking for my tennis ball behind the garages and he just suddenly appeared . One of the older boys from school who I had seen around but really did not know. I didn't even know his name. Anyhow he never came near me again and I never told anyone about it.
    keep well

    Amanda :-)

  5. So funny Penny, good giggle to start the day! My first kiss was with my friends older brother. He'd invited me over to 'listen to music' it was in the evening and his mum was out, I think she worked in a pub, my friend and her brother were very much latch key kids, single parent struggling to pay the bills etc but really happy!
    Well music was turned on, lights off! Now I had kissed lots of boys, after all I'd been playing Postmans Knock at birthday parties for years! I knew he was going to kiss me, I think we may of even briefly discussed this fact before the lights went out! What I hadn't realised, in my innocence was that mouths could sometimes be OPEN whilst kissing! Now that was a messy first kiss, needless to say, lights went back on rather quickly......I must of looked like a frightened rabbit in headlights!
    I saw very little of my friends brother after that until several years later. Now here's where it gets embarrassing!
    I bumped into him in my early 20s in town, I had tried to avoid him but he made a beeline for me. He'd only gone off to the big city and morphed into a male model.....he was gorgeous! He was so lovely to me but there was a little twinkle in his eyes, he never mentioned my first kiss but I think my blushing cheeks would have been a give away to my feelings.....yes he was gorgeous, wish I'd practiced my kissing skills more with him! :) x

  6. So funny! Thanks for sharing this Penny - I love it for all the little details of music and fashion as much as anything.

    I went to a Catholic high school too... x

    1. Me again - you won my giveaway. Whoop! Please could you email me your address? xx

  7. Love this ... I went to an all girls convent grammar too ... your experience is so well described ... Bee xx

  8. "Maybe it was because I didn't really fancy him despite his reasonable good looks and Human League fringe and so wasn't really looking for a kiss." THIS is my favourite line... I nearly spat out my coffee laughing! This story is perfect...

    My first kiss was in a graveyard, close to where I lived that all the "cool kids" hung out. I wasn't cool but the crowd I mooched around with were up there and there was a boy I didn't really fancy there too. The boy I did fancy, the first kiss boy's best friend, broke my heart by moving to America with his parents for a year. Mind you I odn'tthink he ever knew i adored him!! Anyway we got chatting, the other boy an I, about... I dunno all the important stuff in life... and ended being the last two to to leave the graveyard, he told me he fancied me, I turned bright pink and I don't actually quite remember but I guess he just kissed me. T'was grand to be honest. And that was it.. we never went out, held hands, told the group or anything else but we kissed!

    Funny the things you remember! Hazel x

  9. so funny! last week i was thinking about my first kiss, that is proper kiss, there must have been something in the airwaves! It's true, it was a bit a shock! It was in Cornwall on a family holiday, on the beach front one evening, he was a mod, or at least he was wearing a parka, really I would have been much more impressed with a human league fringe. I only met him a couple of times. Once the kiss had happened that seemed to be it! job done I guess. But yes never forgotten. great post, Heather x

  10. Oh my, I don't remember my first kiss. Must have been very lame I guess. I went to a catholic college, and the girls there did not have a reputation. In hindsight, I was very fortunate to get an education without any male distraction although I was not happy that there wasn't any possibility to meet boys (except some brothers of girl friends on a weekend now and then, which was great). It was very exciting to meet the soldiers who went back to their quarters when I went back to college on Sunday evenings. Of course, we just talked. :-) I was in love all these years. Have a nice Sunday. Regula